stupid blood pressure, stupid 24 hr. collection

My blood pressure has been borderline since last night. 135-144 over 85-94. Anything under 140/90 is supposed to be okay, but this is a little too close for comfort. I have to do another 24 hr. collection starting tomorrow morning, and turn it in Thursday, then I have an OB appointment Thursday afternoon.

This stinks. I have gotten so close to term without complications. And maybe the protein test will come back fine, and my blood pressure has just been high because I am stressed out or some other reason. If I have any headaches that won't go away with Tylenol, visual disturbances, or epigastric pain, I'm supposed to go straight to Labor and Delivery. Because you know, I could be on the verge of having a coma-inducing seizure or sustaining liver or kidney damage. (sorry if you can hear the bitterness/sarcasm there) Thankfully, I haven't had any of those symptoms so far.

I am eager to have this baby, but I really didn't want to be labeled with preeclampsia again. I was looking forward to having the experience of going into labor naturally. I guess with Ethan's delivery it started somewhat naturally since all they did was break my water to get it started. But it was too early, and I was sick, so it was far from natural in that sense.

I think one of the main reasons I am still fighting so hard against a preeclampsia diagnosis this time, even though I am close enough to term to be induced safely, is because I feel like our future is hinging on it. I really wanted to have more children after this. At least one more. If I got through the pregnancy with NO preeclampsia, it was like, wow, hooray, we don't have to be scared to get pregnant again someday! Our decision whether or not to try for another child wouldn't be about me getting sick; it would be about what was right for our family. If I do get preeclampsia again, even this close to term, I am afraid we will have lingering fears about getting pregnant again. You never know how soon preeclampsia will rear it's ugly head. I can't imagine losing a baby because labor had to be induced at 24 weeks, like one of our friends did. And it seems wrong to put a baby in that position of being in a potentially deadly uterine environment simply because I want to give birth again.

There. I guess I got my underlying feelings about the situation out in the open. Thank you for listening (if you are still reading this far).

We toured the Wesley Birthcare Center yesterday afternoon. It seems nice. I also looked at the virtual tour online of Via Christi's NewLife Center for comparison purposes (which is pointless since our insurance only covers Wesley). It seems nice, too, pretty comparable to the Birthcare Center.

But I do have to make note of something here... I don't think either is as nice as the new birthing suites in the GC hospital. Kind of surprising, huh? Ok, the NewLife Center does have queen size beds in their recovery rooms, which is pretty cool, but in GC you don't have to transfer to a separate recovery room at all, so I don't know which is better. Maybe I am just biased toward GC because I already had two babies there. It also helped that I could literally see GC hospital from our house there. I am still a little nervous about making it to the hospital on time here.

progress/update

2 cm, 40% effaced, no protein, no swelling, bp within healthy range. :-)

Is it tacky to link to someone else's blog post as the entire content of my blog post? Although this allegory is a conflicted, painful one, it and the readers' comments that follow remind me of some of the reasons Heath (nattyman) and I value these friendships so much. Enjoy.

curriculum excitement

I am so excited because I have really started to gather home schooling resources for next year. Just today, I got the Sonlight Core Instructor's Guide (for Read-Alouds, History, and Bible) and the History books, the Sonlight Science Instructor's Guide and books, and the Sonlight Readers' Schedule and Study Guide. If I manage to find the books on the Sonlight Read-Alouds schedule (22 total!) and on the student Readers' Schedule (13 total!), then my Sonlight curriculum will be complete. If I don't find them for a decent price, I was thinking maybe we might just make a weekly or biweekly trip to the library, since they are almost all available there. I know everyone who has done Sonlight says they love the Read-Alouds and can't part with them after they've read them, but it is also a lot of money to buy them all... Maybe we could just choose our very favorites to purchase after reading them from the library. I also have a set of math curriculum, including instructor's guide and 2 untouched student workbooks, that I picked up for an amazing $5 at the used book sale. And I have the Abeka History Grade 1 book just because Jacob saw it at the used book sale and really wanted it.

For Phonics/Handwriting, I don't have comprehensive curriculum yet, but I have half a dozen workbooks we have purchased over the last year and a half (some he has devoured, some are still mostly untouched) that contain very similar exercises as the complete curriculums I have seen elsewhere. We also already have phonics and sight word flash cards, a writing tablet, wall charts, etc. So I am thinking perhaps we don't even need a separate curriculum for those areas. I'm sure the teacher's guides would be helpful for scheduling purposes and instruction suggestions, but I think we have most of the student materials we need. Jacob is already reading 3 letter words, and the Sonlight Readers will give him lots of practice and room to grow in his reading skills. I may still change my mind and get a comprehensive phonics curriculum, we'll see.

So, are you excited with me yet?

PS - I've only spent $74 so far. :-)

Baby Name Poll, Take Two

I know many of you voted in our first baby name poll. We are still trying to decide, and we have narrowed our list of choices a bit, so we have created another poll for you to vote again. We'd really appreciate knowing what you think! Vote here: http://www.babycenter.com/babypoll/6WTl

SOLD

one funny thing

Glanced at the title of my blog just now and realized something funny: I did actually sunbathe today! Don't worry, I didn't put on a swimsuit in my hugely pregnant condition; I settled for a tank top and shorts.

(In case you didn't realize, the title of the blog is supposed to be ironic, since it is a stereotype of stay-at-home wives and moms which is very rarely true of myself or any other at-home wives/moms I know. I can confidently say I have never watched a soap opera or eaten a chocolate bon-bon in my role as stay-at-home wife/mom, but I'm afraid I have now fulfilled the sunbathing stereotype.)

Trying to get these two to smile at the same time, without putting their hands in their mouths, is a big challenge.


I love this picture because it shows Jacob helping Ethan up the slide. Sweet brotherly love.

OB appointment today

I went to the OB today, and I'm happy to report that the baby and I are still healthy and well. :-) My blood pressure registered a little higher than normal for me (but not over the "limit"), but I had been drinking pop and was all wound up so I suspect that caused it. No protein in my urine. The doctor told me to check my blood pressure every day with my home monitor, and if it registers over 140/90 any day, I should start another 24 hour collection. I sincerely hope I will not have to do that again, but I know it is a good precaution.

I just feel so happy and blessed to have made it this far in this condition! I mean, I have pregnancy complaints, believe me. But I'm not on bedrest, and I'm not experiencing any potentially life-threatening conditions for the baby or me. I am 36 weeks + 1 day today; I believe I was 36 weeks + 4 days when I delivered Ethan. That would be like me delivering this Saturday.

In other news, Heath has set up a nanny cam, er I mean web cam on my computer. It is funny because it looks directly into the playroom just like a nanny cam would. So if anyone wants to video chat, or to watch the children play for that matter, here we are.

GC house listing

Our house in GC is officially on the market.

25 things you (probably) don't know about me

i wear a size 8.5 shoe - i am very self-conscious about the callouses on my feet - i need an unreasonable amount of sleep in order to function well - i want a somewhat big family (4-5 kids) - i like to sew - my dad died suddenly when i was 14 yo from septicemia - i dated way too much in high school - i have struggled with panic attacks and depression since i was 13 - this is the longest my hair has ever been, the same length as it was my sr. year of high school - i was a cheerleader for 5 years, it's the only "sport" i've ever really enjoyed - i didn't realize i had exercise-induced asthma until i was 28 (oh, that's what that horrible feeling is!) - the house we live in now is the biggest house i've ever lived in, about twice as large as the house i lived in from 0-18 - i love to write - i can eat huge quantities of sweets and never get tired of them, and this sweet-eating never caused me to gain a pound until i turned 20 - i really struggle to make friends, and it takes me a long time to relax around people - i loathe brushing my teeth, probably because of my sensitive gag reflex (you can only throw up from it so many times and not loathe it) - the dentist told me to get braces and I never did - i am still absolutely in love with my husband and i brag about him all the time to his mother and mine - i was in the top 10% of my graduating class with a 3.88 gpa and i was a national merit commended student (too bad no one really cares about any of that after high school) - i have forgotten all the science and history i was ever taught, so i'm looking forward to relearning it with my kids (lucky for me heath remembers nearly every detail of science and history he has every learned and is a great teacher) - our house in GC goes on the market today, and it makes me strangely sad - i have only called 4 people "best friend" in my life and i no longer see or speak to 3 - i wish i read the Bible more - i am not scared of any of the typical girl-fear things like spiders or mice, but i am paralyzed with fear riding in a car in heavy traffic (unless i'm driving) - my degree is from manhattan christian college in Bible/cross-cultural ministry - i hate my quick temper

my family's tornado

I can't believe I have neglected to post about this for so long.

My Aunt and Uncle who live in Clay County, about 30 miles from Manhattan, had a tornado hit their house and farm during the days of storms that continued after the Greensburg tornado. It lifted the garage completely off the house and deposited it in a field nearby. It ripped the roof off the living room, kitchen, and utility room and dumped 5 inches of rain onto everything inside. Even the finished basement underneath these areas was soaked. They have insurance, of course, but everything is just a mess. At first they were thinking it would all be repairable, but now they think they might total out the house - depending on if the subfloor is damaged, I guess. Other farm buildings are damaged, and 2 cows had to be put down.

My brother Jeff went up to help clean and clear things last weekend. He said when they went to see where the garage had landed, it was an incredible site. There were beams from the garage driven 4 feet into the ground, which were impossible to remove, even with a tractor. At the other extreme, there were tiny slivers of wood driven through shingles. The cows that witnessed the storm are so spooked and wild that they can't be put out to pasture like they normally would this time of year. Jeff said he is amazed at how well my Uncle is handling the cleanup. He is around 60 yo, but apparently very tough and a very hard worker. It is overwhelming and difficult, of course, but Jeff was impressed with him. My Aunt has 30+ years of household goods and storage to clean up and sort through.

I am so thankful they weren't home when the storm hit. There were on vacation in Branson. Hopefully, they would have taken shelter and been safe in the basement, but you never want to take a chance.

Home School

PE - Turn on Relient K and watch the kids dance crazily around the living room until they collapse in a pile, delighted and exhausted.

Science - Kill the giant house fly the kids are terrified of and examine it with magnifying glasses. Look up pictures of honey bees and house flys in order to note the differences and hopefully convince the kids that the fly won't sting them, thereby avoiding frantic screaming and running next time.

Just a couple of examples from our weekend. :-)

so much I don't understand...

I was just scanning through the book of Genesis again (in all honesty, looking for names I might have missed that we could use for baby boy). But as I scan through it and remember the stories I have heard and read and thought on many times, I am reminded of how much I don't understand about the way God's people acted and the way He interacted with them.

One of the hardest things for me as a woman is the business of taking not just multiple wives, but concubines also. I know in the New Testament, Christ and the Apostles reaffirmed that one wife was the original ideal of creation that we should strive for and that we should require it of our leaders in the Church. But these were the people God chose back then, the people from which He brought forth the Messiah. Not only were they polygamous, but often what we would consider incestuous. I cannot imagine as a woman sharing my husband. I just can't fathom it. Even worse, I can't imagine being a servant who is told by her mistress that she must sleep with the master and bear a child for them. I guess with a lot of these customs, it was just the way human society and culture worked then. Really big families were desirable, and women needed to be protected in many ways we don't even think of today. So, better to be the second or third wife than a single woman with no protector or provider.

There are other things I don't understand. Abraham lying and saying Sarah was his sister instead of his wife and allowing her to be taken in to the King's household. Abraham being willing to sacrifice Isaac, even after God's covenant with Noah in which he declared that anyone who kills a man made in God's image is subject to being killed himself. Jacob lying to his father, under his mother's direction, in order to get the blessing - and the fact that God and Isaac both honored the blessing given under false pretenses.

I hope I understand some of these events better eventually. Any of your insights are welcome.

thoughts on my kids lately

Two words Jacob has used this week that make me smile: "impressive" and "cumbersome."

I can't believe how much the boys are growing up. I'm sure it will become even more apparent after the baby is born. I remember that with Jacob after Ethan was born - it was like he suddenly realized he was a big brother with big brother responsibilities, and he took some developmental leaps. Both boys are taking care of their pottying by themselves for the most part, with few accidents. They have started to actually want to dress themselves (although they have been able to for quite a while) and to get clothes out of their drawers on their own initiative. They are doing a tiny bit better about actually crawling into their carseats in the van, instead of racing for the front seats as soon as the doors are open. On the other hand, they still need me a lot - of course. I hear from my friends whose children play alone in their rooms for significant lengths of time, and it is so surprising to me. My kids are always right here next to me, wanting my interaction with everything and requiring my intervention for discipline and squabbling quite frequently. But that's ok; that's part of why I am home, so that I'm the one mediating those events. I won't be so exhausted forever; it won't always be this hard (right? this is what I tell myself on good days).

I'm wondering if the baby is going to cooperate with my plan that he will come naturally at 37 weeks (anything between 37-42 weeks is technically full term). Oh, that would be so nice. I am so blessed and grateful not to have gotten sick, and I certainly don't want to get sick and be induced early. But if he would just come naturally a bit early, that would be great. I have never had to wait until full term and it seems like for-ev-er. I am just 35 weeks today. I really should not be whining. A friend from church is 1 day from her due date and still waiting.