I am feeling like a great stay-at-home mom today. First of all, I took the kids to the playground this morning. Yes, it was 42 degrees, so it was McDonald's indoor playground, but it was large motor play nonetheless. Ethan shunned the actual play structure and preferred to climb repeatedly into and out of the high chairs, but I figured it was the same sort of skills he would have been exercising in the play structure, so it was ok. (He even pushed the high chair up onto the cushioned play surface like he knew what he was doing was risky.) Then to top it off, we went to the library. I saw one of my Tuesday Bible study girls there, and was encouraged to see Jacob interact with her son. That combined with watching him interact with a boy at the McD's playground who he had never met before, combined with reassuring feedback from the nursery workers and his Awana teachers, has now allayed all my fears that he might not be on a good track with his social development.
After this productive morning, I managed to come home and fix a nutritious lunch for my family, feed the kids before picking up Heath, and take Jacob for a haircut over the lunch hour [a scary chore because I have to hold him still while they cut around his ears :-( ] Then, after putting the boys down for naps, I unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher and cleaned off the counters BEFORE taking a break at the computer. It dawned on me, this is probably what most (dare I say "normal"?) people do - clean up the kitchen after EACH meal. My first instinct is to put it off, by any means. I always feel like there is something better to do, and that to clean up right away would just be sad. However, it is more sad to have a dirty kitchen all day when "a little later" never comes around.
Digressing a moment back to the playground thing: Heath loves it when I take the kids to the playground. I think he feels really good about me being home with them when I take them somewhere like that. He also worries about them being "cooped up" in the apartment all day. I try to remind him that the space is a lot bigger to them. Also, I told him, I remember being at home with my mom as a little girl and how being home was my favorite thing - it was so secure, so familiar, so comfortable. I don't think kids have the same desires that we do to get out and "do things." It is enough for them to impact and conquer the world that is inside their home (and themselves! i.e. physical/mental/emotional milestones). However, I do understand Heath's point, and he says little boys would feel different about being at home all the time (he theorizes since he was in daycare). Maybe he is right (and I have to trust his opinion, never having been a little boy myself), since in general it seems grown-up boys have more of a drive to get out of the house and "do something" than grown-up girls.
Monday, November 14, 2005
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
housing decisions
Lately, we have been trying to decide what we are going to do about housing on a long-term basis. We signed a six month lease on this apartment, thinking that hopefully we would have the house sold by the end of the 6 months, and then we could get another house here. But then we thought, maybe we should try to get all of our credit card debt paid off before buying, so that we could afford to buy a house we would be able to stay in for 10 years (instead of just 3 or 5). So, that would mean maintaining low housing payments for another 2 years approximately, to free up money to pay off the credit cards quickly.
The question this brought up was, could we stay in an apartment for 2 more years? For me, it isn't so much a question of whether or not I could stay in an apartment for 2 years (no problem), but can we really ask that of our kids? To spend 2/5 of their pre-school, at-home years in an apartment?
Honestly, I cannot figure out what the stigma is with an apartment. Is there something inherently bad about sharing walls with another family? It is actually quite economical; it saves insulation, energy, building materials, space. There are a lot of reasons I should love it, because I love efficiency. Furthermore, as a stay-at-home mom who feels isolated at times, having neighbors I am forced to see should be a plus, right?
I know a major downside of an apartment is not having an outside play area (i.e. yard) for the kids. However, this apartment complex does have a playground - better equipment than I could expect to have in my own backyard - and there is a park with deluxe playground across the street. Still, I know I am less likely to give them outside play time when I have to march across the parking lots with them (or pile us all into the car), and then sit and watch them play. With a house, I could just open the back door and let them out (theoretically - but there are always people who would disapprove of this approach and say I should still go out with them and sit and watch them play, just like at a public playground - still, I would at least avoid coordinating a walk or drive to the playground).
And then there is the economics argument - is renting throwing away money that could be going toward equity? In this case, since we would be moving again in 2-3 years, we would only accumulate enough equity to pay for the closing costs and realtor fees.
Talking to Heath about it, though, he very much wants to own a house. And in fact, so do I. I can't explain it logically, but there seems to be a stigma toward living in an apartment once you have reached a certain stage in life. It seems to subconsciously signal failure on some level. So, we are now looking for homes that would still yield a low housing payment and allow us to get the cards paid off just as quickly as living in an apartment. Even though we will just break even financially in 3 years, and we will have to deal with all the responsibility and upkeep of owning a house (not to mention selling it after those 3 years!), for some reason it is more appealing that renting an apartment. Heath tried to explain something about it being part of man's nature to want to own land. Maybe that is it. But for my part I still can't explain why my heart is so traitorous to my logic in this case.
The question this brought up was, could we stay in an apartment for 2 more years? For me, it isn't so much a question of whether or not I could stay in an apartment for 2 years (no problem), but can we really ask that of our kids? To spend 2/5 of their pre-school, at-home years in an apartment?
Honestly, I cannot figure out what the stigma is with an apartment. Is there something inherently bad about sharing walls with another family? It is actually quite economical; it saves insulation, energy, building materials, space. There are a lot of reasons I should love it, because I love efficiency. Furthermore, as a stay-at-home mom who feels isolated at times, having neighbors I am forced to see should be a plus, right?
I know a major downside of an apartment is not having an outside play area (i.e. yard) for the kids. However, this apartment complex does have a playground - better equipment than I could expect to have in my own backyard - and there is a park with deluxe playground across the street. Still, I know I am less likely to give them outside play time when I have to march across the parking lots with them (or pile us all into the car), and then sit and watch them play. With a house, I could just open the back door and let them out (theoretically - but there are always people who would disapprove of this approach and say I should still go out with them and sit and watch them play, just like at a public playground - still, I would at least avoid coordinating a walk or drive to the playground).
And then there is the economics argument - is renting throwing away money that could be going toward equity? In this case, since we would be moving again in 2-3 years, we would only accumulate enough equity to pay for the closing costs and realtor fees.
Talking to Heath about it, though, he very much wants to own a house. And in fact, so do I. I can't explain it logically, but there seems to be a stigma toward living in an apartment once you have reached a certain stage in life. It seems to subconsciously signal failure on some level. So, we are now looking for homes that would still yield a low housing payment and allow us to get the cards paid off just as quickly as living in an apartment. Even though we will just break even financially in 3 years, and we will have to deal with all the responsibility and upkeep of owning a house (not to mention selling it after those 3 years!), for some reason it is more appealing that renting an apartment. Heath tried to explain something about it being part of man's nature to want to own land. Maybe that is it. But for my part I still can't explain why my heart is so traitorous to my logic in this case.
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