Yesterday I went to Manhattan for the first time in 7 years. 7 years! I can't believe I haven't found a reason to go back before now. It was so strange to be there again. So many memories that I hadn't thought of in years resurfaced. I went to Kenoyer Hall, and it still smelled the same! How does that happen? I peeked into my old suite, even. Not much has changed. The carpet shows the years, and the lobby furniture has a few snags, but things have been kept up pretty well. I wasn't able to get in to Coffin Hall or the Campus Center, but what I could see through the windows looked the same. The major change on campus was the removal of several houses which had been converted into apartments - where 5 or so houses used to be, there is a nice grassy field. This is probably for the best, because the cheap housing those apartments provided was also pretty slummy. My sophomore year roommate moved into one of the apartments with her new husband our junior year, and it was comprised of two bedroom sized rooms with sloped ceilings, connected by a hallway. The "kitchen" was a converted closet with tiny stove, tiny fridge, and tiny sink, all within reach from the center of the room.

As I walked through Aggieville, I did see several new businesses, particularly new chain restaurants that have come to town. But the old staples were the same - bars and coffee shops in the usual places, a few established novelty shops, and a few spots where businesses turned over continually during my years there and apparently still today.

Heath took our big boys out to the "tubes" at Tuttle Lake. I think having that area near Manhattan made it possible for me to live there for 5 years. I remember my freshman year being near tears because I needed so badly to get away from people. Growing up where I did, I often escaped to the lake that was within walking distance of my home, or to the Gyp Hills once I had my driver's license. I can't go too long without being alone, or at least in a wide open space. One of the sophomores in my suite suggested going out to Tuttle Lake, and it helped me not to go crazy from lack of personal space. (Thanks to your sister, Calana, I had excuse to get out there regularly my freshman year.)

Anyway. Being back there caused me to ponder that time in my life, and how I have changed since then. As the memories flooded back, I was able to ask myself, How would current-day Jenny do that? What has changed? It's not that there are huge differences in who I am, but I am grateful for how God has moved in me in the last 7 years. I hope I am more temperate now, more grounded, more sure than ever of my faith and of His love for me. I'm still late everywhere (it's funny how many memories came back of rushing to get somewhere, praying for an open parking space); I still possess many of the same habits and personality. But I think I am more forgiving, more willing to accept unanswered questions and unresolved relationships. I still have a lot of room to grow and a lot of goals for myself. Will I ever be a person who isn't late to everything? (And why is that such a hard habit to change?) I don't know, but the more important goals I have for myself have to do with serving others more and growing in depth in my communion with God.