Have you heard of Gospel Dance Aerobics?
I'm not a big youtube person; I have only gotten on the site a few times in my life. But I decided to do a search for dance aerobics in the interest of finding some form of exercise I might actually enjoy. A bunch of videos came up for this guy: http://www.pauleugene.com/
Nothing against what he's trying to do - but it just makes me laugh. A little too... well, contrived, for me. Two of the moves are called "offering" and "thanks." If you click the link it will take you to one of his youtube videos so you can see for yourself.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
interesting discussions in the van
The boys were off school yesterday for MLK Jr. Day. (At the end of the day, Jacob said, "Wait, today was MLK Jr. Day! Why didn't we do anything for it?") They spent the morning embroiled in video games, taking forced 30 minute breaks two or three times for fighting, but by lunchtime we managed to get everyone dressed and out of the house. We visited Daddy's office, since the older boys hadn't been there for quite a while, and then we went to McDonald's for a late lunch and climbing fest. They were still fairly perky after McDonald's, so I decided to risk going by the mall to pick up some jeans that were on sale. So, all in all, we spent quite a bit of time in the van - enough time that we had several interesting discussions.
First, on the way to Daddy's office, we saw an armored truck, and I commented on it. I asked the boys if they knew what an armored truck was, and when they didn't, I explained it as well as I knew how. They were fascinated that the driver might carry a gun and wanted to know why. This led to a discussion of police officers carrying guns, since I had explained the armored truck driver's gun by using the example of a traffic cop wearing a gun as a precaution and so people would be hesitant to mess with him, even though it is unlikely he would actually need to use it. This, then, led to the question of whether one can survive getting shot. I told them that it is possible, and explained some reasons why getting shot would or would not be fatal. I also said that in certain situations, someone might even intentionally shoot someone in the leg to catch them without killing them. (Heath told me this was not entirely accurate because most people wouldn't chance missing the fairly small target of a leg, but since Mama was giving the info, they get Mama's take on it.) At this, Jacob said, "Yeah, or maybe they'd just go up and hit him with their gun to knock him out." The kid has been watching Daddy play Halo 3 on the xbox 360 too much. I did tell him that it was an unlikely scenario except with the most highly trained and specialized police officers, or if someone happens to have a special armored suit like Master Chief.
Later, when we were loading into the van after leaving the mall, one of the boys asked about how my dad died. I can't even remember what prompted this question, but Jacob has been thinking about it more lately, I know. I explained and reassured them that it was a very rare occurence, so they didn't need to worry about it happening to others they love, and furthermore, that there are now better medicines to treat it. In the course of explaining what happened to my Dad, I said that we didn't get him to the hospital until the infection was pretty advanced, and there is a chance the antibiotics could have stopped the infection if we'd gotten there sooner; but it's also possible they wouldn't have been able to stop it no matter what, and we just can't know because we can't redo it. At this, Jacob started talking about how in the future, maybe we'll have a time machine, so we can travel back in time and warn my dad to go to the hospital early in his sickness. Then, the boys concluded, they'd get to meet him when they warned him, but they still wouldn't have him when they went back to the future because he'd be "like, 100 or something" by then. So I guess this time machine is slated to be developed in the 2040's.
Finally, on the way home, the boys were talking again about how they want to be soldiers when they grow up. I keep telling them that they can be soldiers, but that most people don't do that for their whole lives; they have other careers as well. Jacob says he can't decide between soldier and scientist. I told him he could be a scientist in the military, which caused Ethan to ask what things a person could do in the military, prompting a woefully inadequately response from me, along the lines of "all kinds of things." Jacob piped up before Ethan could question me further and said that he wants to be a soldier on the ground who is shooting and throwing grenades and fighting. (Again - too much Halo 3!) I told him that we don't always have a war going on which requires those things. Maybe this isn't entirely accurate, but I didn't want him to be picturing that as a predictable component of his future plans. They were surprised by this idea, and so I explained that the current wars our military are fighting only started after 9/11. And then I had to explain what 9/11 was.
Explaining 9/11 in their terms was hard. It brought back all the sorrow of it for me. How could a group of people carry out such an act that horrified and grieved all of America? Even those of us with no one we knew who was killed grieved with those who did. I kept my explanation grave but not overly dramatic for the boys, of course, telling them about the hijacked planes, explaining briefly what a terrorist is, and explaining what it did to the WTC towers to be rammed by jet planes. I told them how many people died and how the US responded with the war in Afghanistan because of the terrorists' bases there. I also explained the build up to the Iraq war and how it was believed Hussein had ties to the terrorists and/or had nuclear weapons, but how no nuclear weapons were ever found, so it has become a controversy now with some people thinking we never should have gone into Iraq; how now we are trying to finish the job and help both countries get stable governments before we leave. The amazing thing is, Heath asked Jacob about it when he got home from work, and Jacob was able to report the basics back to him very accurately. He even remembered that the WTC towers were in New York. I have always been amazed by Jacob's verbal comprehension and memory, from the time he was three years old. As usual, Ethan gets pulled into discussions at a younger age than we would otherwise have planned simply by having a brother who is only 19.5 months older. They think they are basically the same age, and I don't think either of them can imagine a scenario where we allow Jacob to hear or watch or discuss something with us that Ethan can't yet. I hate it that Ethan is getting exposed to some harsh things earlier than Jacob, but I guess it is the way it goes with the second born. I'm afraid we're going to have to explain more about human reproduction to Jacob soon, lest he get an inaccurate or even worse, sleazy, explanation from other boys at school, and we are going to have to find a time we can have that talk with just Jacob.
One last thing I just remembered - Jacob explained the Big Bang theory to all of us in the van as well. I was on the phone with Heath during part of it and only able to listen with half my attention. I finished the call and capped off Jacob's explanation by saying, "Yes, that is the way scientists think the universe came to be. And we know that God created everything, so if that's how things came to be the way they are, then that's just the way God chose to do it, right?" Jacob was a little upset that I said scientists "thought" this was how it happened based on the evidence they had, since obviously no one was there to witness it and know exactly, for sure. He told me indignantly that we are still feeling the aftershocks of the Big Bang, so we KNOW that's what happened. After trying to explain my position a couple more times and hearing his adamant rebuttal, I said, "Okay, I'll have to look into that." I'm not sure about the aftershock thing, honestly, so I'll have to look it up.
The kind of discussions we had yesterday are one of the reasons why I was so reluctant to send Jacob to school in the first place - why we stuck out trying to home school long after it became difficult. I still think we made the right decision sending Jacob and Ethan to school, but I am reminded of the kind of natural, interactive learning that can happen in the family when I have days like yesterday. And I love it.
First, on the way to Daddy's office, we saw an armored truck, and I commented on it. I asked the boys if they knew what an armored truck was, and when they didn't, I explained it as well as I knew how. They were fascinated that the driver might carry a gun and wanted to know why. This led to a discussion of police officers carrying guns, since I had explained the armored truck driver's gun by using the example of a traffic cop wearing a gun as a precaution and so people would be hesitant to mess with him, even though it is unlikely he would actually need to use it. This, then, led to the question of whether one can survive getting shot. I told them that it is possible, and explained some reasons why getting shot would or would not be fatal. I also said that in certain situations, someone might even intentionally shoot someone in the leg to catch them without killing them. (Heath told me this was not entirely accurate because most people wouldn't chance missing the fairly small target of a leg, but since Mama was giving the info, they get Mama's take on it.) At this, Jacob said, "Yeah, or maybe they'd just go up and hit him with their gun to knock him out." The kid has been watching Daddy play Halo 3 on the xbox 360 too much. I did tell him that it was an unlikely scenario except with the most highly trained and specialized police officers, or if someone happens to have a special armored suit like Master Chief.
Later, when we were loading into the van after leaving the mall, one of the boys asked about how my dad died. I can't even remember what prompted this question, but Jacob has been thinking about it more lately, I know. I explained and reassured them that it was a very rare occurence, so they didn't need to worry about it happening to others they love, and furthermore, that there are now better medicines to treat it. In the course of explaining what happened to my Dad, I said that we didn't get him to the hospital until the infection was pretty advanced, and there is a chance the antibiotics could have stopped the infection if we'd gotten there sooner; but it's also possible they wouldn't have been able to stop it no matter what, and we just can't know because we can't redo it. At this, Jacob started talking about how in the future, maybe we'll have a time machine, so we can travel back in time and warn my dad to go to the hospital early in his sickness. Then, the boys concluded, they'd get to meet him when they warned him, but they still wouldn't have him when they went back to the future because he'd be "like, 100 or something" by then. So I guess this time machine is slated to be developed in the 2040's.
Finally, on the way home, the boys were talking again about how they want to be soldiers when they grow up. I keep telling them that they can be soldiers, but that most people don't do that for their whole lives; they have other careers as well. Jacob says he can't decide between soldier and scientist. I told him he could be a scientist in the military, which caused Ethan to ask what things a person could do in the military, prompting a woefully inadequately response from me, along the lines of "all kinds of things." Jacob piped up before Ethan could question me further and said that he wants to be a soldier on the ground who is shooting and throwing grenades and fighting. (Again - too much Halo 3!) I told him that we don't always have a war going on which requires those things. Maybe this isn't entirely accurate, but I didn't want him to be picturing that as a predictable component of his future plans. They were surprised by this idea, and so I explained that the current wars our military are fighting only started after 9/11. And then I had to explain what 9/11 was.
Explaining 9/11 in their terms was hard. It brought back all the sorrow of it for me. How could a group of people carry out such an act that horrified and grieved all of America? Even those of us with no one we knew who was killed grieved with those who did. I kept my explanation grave but not overly dramatic for the boys, of course, telling them about the hijacked planes, explaining briefly what a terrorist is, and explaining what it did to the WTC towers to be rammed by jet planes. I told them how many people died and how the US responded with the war in Afghanistan because of the terrorists' bases there. I also explained the build up to the Iraq war and how it was believed Hussein had ties to the terrorists and/or had nuclear weapons, but how no nuclear weapons were ever found, so it has become a controversy now with some people thinking we never should have gone into Iraq; how now we are trying to finish the job and help both countries get stable governments before we leave. The amazing thing is, Heath asked Jacob about it when he got home from work, and Jacob was able to report the basics back to him very accurately. He even remembered that the WTC towers were in New York. I have always been amazed by Jacob's verbal comprehension and memory, from the time he was three years old. As usual, Ethan gets pulled into discussions at a younger age than we would otherwise have planned simply by having a brother who is only 19.5 months older. They think they are basically the same age, and I don't think either of them can imagine a scenario where we allow Jacob to hear or watch or discuss something with us that Ethan can't yet. I hate it that Ethan is getting exposed to some harsh things earlier than Jacob, but I guess it is the way it goes with the second born. I'm afraid we're going to have to explain more about human reproduction to Jacob soon, lest he get an inaccurate or even worse, sleazy, explanation from other boys at school, and we are going to have to find a time we can have that talk with just Jacob.
One last thing I just remembered - Jacob explained the Big Bang theory to all of us in the van as well. I was on the phone with Heath during part of it and only able to listen with half my attention. I finished the call and capped off Jacob's explanation by saying, "Yes, that is the way scientists think the universe came to be. And we know that God created everything, so if that's how things came to be the way they are, then that's just the way God chose to do it, right?" Jacob was a little upset that I said scientists "thought" this was how it happened based on the evidence they had, since obviously no one was there to witness it and know exactly, for sure. He told me indignantly that we are still feeling the aftershocks of the Big Bang, so we KNOW that's what happened. After trying to explain my position a couple more times and hearing his adamant rebuttal, I said, "Okay, I'll have to look into that." I'm not sure about the aftershock thing, honestly, so I'll have to look it up.
The kind of discussions we had yesterday are one of the reasons why I was so reluctant to send Jacob to school in the first place - why we stuck out trying to home school long after it became difficult. I still think we made the right decision sending Jacob and Ethan to school, but I am reminded of the kind of natural, interactive learning that can happen in the family when I have days like yesterday. And I love it.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
unpleasantness you probably don't want to bother reading
I wonder if maybe I am just too angry to be a Christian. I sincerely desire to follow Jesus, and I really try to trust and follow God's way. But I find that my emotions get the best of me. I've been fighting them for 32 years now, and I still haven't found a way to get around the destruction they cause in my life. Today, as on so many other days in my life, I am just angry at nearly everything. I'm angry that I couldn't find my iron this morning when I needed to iron my dress for Aunt Fern's funeral, because someone didn't put it back where it belongs. I'm angry that I couldn't find my baggie of thread spools to mend the sleeves on my dress, even though I am probably the one who put them somewhere illogical, and because there is no order in my bedroom because I am overwhelmed by the amount of housework there is to be done, so I had a very slim chance of finding them. I am angry that I got stuck in Schulte on my way to the funeral because the van wouldn't start after stopping at a convenience store, and particularly because I had already gotten stranded with the van not starting after Tae Kwon Do lessons a week ago, in the freezing cold no less, yet no one has looked at the van to see what caused that between now and then, not looked under the hood or taken it to the shop, not to mention not noticing that the oil hadn't been changed for 7 months. I'm angry because Heath says I'm simply blaming everything on him today (whether or not he's right), and because he didn't notice when I was fixed up for the funeral today, and because the bank won't call me back about our refinance closing tomorrow. I'm angry because Haiti had an earthquake and Pat Robertson is an arrogant idiot. Huge things like that and tiny things like not being complimented by Heath, they all tie me up in an unproductive, miserable, twisted mess of nerves on days like this. I'm angry because I don't have the resources in me to deal with my kids fighting - I simply don't. I'm angry because whenever I'm brutally honest to anyone who will listen like this, Heath won't like it. But yet how can I be honest and be me without sharing anything with his name in it? My whole life is wrapped around his! Honestly, I just want to sleep for a very long time. I'm so tired. Why am I always so tired? Oh right, I don't go to bed on time. But it doesn't seem like it should be this bad. I'm perpetually angry at myself for my weight and the way it makes me look. Really, that is such a volatile subject for me that I can barely discuss it with anyone. I can't even describe how desperate it makes me feel, and I really think that many women, maybe even a majority of us, carry these same feelings inside about our weight/body shape. And now on top of it, I notice that the skin on my face is changing and will never be the same; I am aging! So even if I ever get my body shape back toward normal again, I will never look like I did before I had babies, even with clothes covering my stretch marks. I am trying to ignore this and pretend like I know it is shallow, and I am not concerned, but I really am fairly devastated about it. Am I having a pre-midlife crisis or what? I just do not feel like being all nicey-nice today and finding some way to not sound caustic and irritable. I don't feel like being reformed. I don't feel like writing a blog that anyone would want to read. I don't want to try to see things from a different perspective and be reasonable. I didn't wake up today wanting to be angry about everything. I woke up thinking it would be a nice, enjoyable, productive day. But somewhere around Samuel's third poopy diaper and searching for the iron this morning, things started to go downhill quickly, building up to the van not starting in Schulte. I want to assert my control over something to show that I still do control anything; to burn something up or throw something away or cut my hair. Maybe that's why I feel compelled to blog when I feel like this - I can post something on the internet and no one can tell me to be quiet or to be reasonable. Sort of like graffiti without the risk of getting arrested. Like writing "life sucks" in big letters on my notebooks in Junior High. In college, I used to cut or dye my hair or pierce something. Now that I'm a Mommy, I blog.
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