I am definitely feeling pregnant today. Shouldn't it feel glorious and natural to be pregnant? Ah, it is so not the case for me. My head feels swollen and is pounding. I feel like I've taken a sedative and like it's going to cause me to fall instantly into deep sleep, like a narcoleptic. My brain is fuzzy and unwieldy - it's like I've lost all my mental "sharpness." My digestion is all messed up. I feel like my eyes aren't quite tracking, which adds to my already-threatening nausea. Whew, there you have it. Definitely pregnant. It's just part of the deal I guess. Eight months or so of feeling weird and sometimes just plain horrible, in order to be part of God bringing a new soul into the world, a soul that will be part of our family. I am surprised that I did actually forget how this feels, though. I kept telling myself to remember that it was really really hard, and I tried to be prepared, but I guess it is just impossible to really remember. It is easier being at a different place in life this time, though - the physical symptoms are the same, but the attitude and capabilities of each member of the family are different. Heath is being really, really good to me, and the kids demand less from me than they did just 2 years ago.
When I dropped the kids off at the nursery to go to my women's Bible study this morning, the nursery workers told me how well-behaved and pleasant my kids have been lately. That always makes a Mom feel very happy. How ironic considering I was just saying how much trouble I was having with Jacob's behavior at home. But I am really glad that they are good for other people even if not for me. I did buy several books on dealing with strong-willed kids, and last night while reading one I thought, yep, yep, that's Jacob for sure. But then when I was interacting with him today, I realized he's definitely not as extreme as some of the kids described in the book - it's like he's a strong-willed child on half the issues in his life, and he's sweet and easy to train on the other half.
Well, I don't seem to have anything amusing or profound to say today. Sorry about that. :-)
just had to say something here too:
ReplyDeleteThere's the miracle of pregnancy (the beautiful part...i think pregnant woment are beautiful, too) And then there's actual pregnancy (the I didn't need to know about this part).
I wasn't a very good preganant person. ;) It's all worth it though, isn't it? What a privilege!