art museum

So, we decided to finally check out the art museum, after living
here almost a year and a half. There is a great kids area with art supplies, books, puppets, games. But beware venturing into other areas of the museum with kids! The guards seem to really hate kids.

Here is Jacob designing a city on the magnet wall.

And here is Ethan venturing up the stairs to the non-kid areas, uh-oh...

And resignedly going back into the kids' area.

I finally convinced Heath to shave his beard for me, but first he had to shave it into every possible variation. This was our favorite. :-) Doesn't he look like he belongs to the 70's?

thou shalt not covet

Why is it so hard to resist wanting things? Do people in other cultures, places, and times struggle with this the same way we do in modern America?

I said to Heath, jokingly the other night, "I am coveting Gina's enormous bathtub right now." But then we had a discussion about what coveting really is - is it just wanting something that someone else possesses, or is it the lust for more stuff in general? In the 10 commandments, God said not to covet your neighbor's things. So, what if I'm wanting something that is available to me in a store, not owned by my neighbor?

We'd probably all agree that lusting after more stuff in general is not a good thing. And I am actually quite happy with our home and our bathtub. :-) But sometimes I see things I want that I don't really need (depending on your definition of "need")... like a new area rug for the living room, or a new TV, or a new pair of shoes or pants. But really, what I want more than those things is to get our debts paid off and not accrue any more debt. So why is it so hard to not buy more stuff?

when it rains, it pours

My brother's dog, Roy, died yesterday at my mom's house. They were unable to bury him at the family farm because of the snow, so Jeff buried him in the backyard, after laboriously digging through the frozen ground. Roy was one of the two Weimaraners that have been like Jeff's children for the past decade or so.

have I lost my mind? (rhetorical question)

Disclaimer: I have debated for several months whether to post any of the feelings and thoughts that were growing in my mind regarding homeschooling, for fear of offending any of my dear friends or family. I decided to go ahead and post this after writing it, because it is just my feelings and thoughts, after all. I certainly don't condemn anyone else for following their convictions for their children. I recognize that each child and situation is different, and God may lead you differently than me for your situation.

This week was emotional, of course. But one thing that added to that emotion was being asked many times, "So, Jacob will start Kindergarten next year, won't he?"

I might as well have answered, "Oh, didn't you know we'd lost our minds and joined a radical sect?" Because telling people we plan on homeschooling goes over about as well. Those of you who read this blog are probably supportive and understanding of our desire to homeschool our children, but I think in a small town like ML, the issue is a lot more volatile. If I home school, I'm somehow rejecting the community's values or the expertise of the community's teachers. I think that is the perspective of the opposition, anyway. And if we lived in ML, maybe we would send our children to public school. I know most of the teachers personally, particularly my mom, and they are caring, talented people. But any public school, no matter how small and in what community, is still subject to state and national regulations that largely determine the flavor of the educational experience. Maybe this is why my Mom is supportive of us homeschooling. Public school has changed a lot since she started teaching over 30 years ago.

The heart of the matter for me, at this point, is this deep, genuine feeling (and feel free to think I am crazy, but this is how I feel), of "Why?" Why would I send Jacob to school next year? We're doing pretty well with the current situation, I think. I continue to protect and love and teach him as I have been these last four years. Why in the world would I want to discontinue that? Why would I feel the need to turn that responsiblity over to someone else at this point? He is still so young! You know, Heath's dad and my dad neither one attended Kindergarten - many of their generation didn't - and it still isn't mandatory in the state of Kansas. It isn't mandatory to be in an educational program until 7 years of age. So I could do absolutely nothing formal for Jacob's education for 2.5 more years. Of course I won't take that route, because he is eager to learn.

There are other factors, too, of course. I simply cannot imagine leaving him somewhere, under someone else's supervision (who is also supervising 20+ other children), for 7 hours a day, 5 days a week. I don't want to expose him to unsupervised peer interactions that could cause deep emotional or psychological hangups. I don't want him to be exposed to the attitudes and the filthy media that so many of the other children are exposed to at home. Again, he is so young still. Furthermore, I think Ethan would wilt with Jacob gone! They can hardly stand to be apart for an hour or two.

I come back to the question of, "Why would I send him?" To learn? To socialize? He already knows all of his letters and letter sounds, and he wants to learn words. He counts to 30 (skips a few numbers sometimes, but he's getting there), and he writes all of his numbers. He has mastered most of the concepts in the Kindergarten workbook we are going through right now. He is beginning to learn about coins and bills, the calendar, reading a clock. He loves to learn. I would hate to squelch that love of learning with a program that either bored him or forced him to do activities or exercises that were tedious or uninteresting to him. We work with his level of and direction of interest and individualize his program, because we don't have to try to teach 20+ students at once. So I certainly am not concered that he is missing out on learning by not going to school. As for socialization, I think children are socialized much better in a setting of several families getting together, with various ages of children, and lots of parents around to intervene and help teach the children what is constructive or appropriate interaction and what is not. Do you remember how many of the kids acted when you were in school? ((Shudder)) That is not how I want my children to act, how I want them to learn to treat others or how I want them to be treated.

I know many people don't feel the way we do, and that is fine. Maybe I will change my perspective entirely in a few years. I know that children must become independent eventually; they must fend for themselves in the world eventually. I just feel the conviction that right now is not the time, yet, for my children.

My maternal Grandma passed away at 12:30 last night. I found out this morning.

I remember as a child thinking that my grandparents just couldn't die - I couldn't fathom it, they were such a big part of my life. We saw my maternal grandparents almost every day, and they added richness to our lives and upbringing. As I've gotten older, and now have my own husband and children, I can see that of course it is the natural course of things that our grandparents aren't a part of our lives on this earth forever. However, my memory of her, and also of my grandpa who passed away a few years ago, will continue to impact me for the rest of my life.

Grandma served her family with all of her energy. She kept an immaculate house. As I mentioned, I was there almost every day growing up, and it was never in any way messy or dirty. She worked to create a peaceful atmosphere in her home, and the peace there was tangible. She cooked every meal, and made almost everything from scratch. I remember watching her roll out dough for homemade noodles, cinammon rolls, fig cookies, and pie crusts on her kitchen table. We all gathered around that table to visit and laugh - because there was always laughter when the family gathered around her table - and inevitably, to eat whatever goodies or meal she was cooking. Her home was inseparable from who she was, and when I think of her I almost always think of her in that context. When I think of how I want my home to be, I model it after her.

Grandma never sat down. This would, at times, annoy members of the family who wished she would allow herself to relax, maybe watch a show or play a game with the family. But instead, we gathered around her table to talk with her while she kept busy. When we were in grade school, and my mom went back to work, Grandma would keep herself busy by stealing clothes to iron from our house. When we'd walk to her house after school, there she would be finishing a huge pile of ironing to send home with Mom.

I remember hearing her talk about her faith, and how grateful she was for Grandpa's spiritual leadership. She said she never would have known God like she did if not for Grandpa. I don't suppose they ever did family or couples' devotions together, but they showed their love and devotion to each other and to God through service. They served their biological family and their church family as much as they could, and when they spoke about God and told Bible stories it was while they were serving. I really do think my Grandma saw all the activities she did as a gift of love to those it benefited. I don't think she did it because she couldn't stand a dirty house, or couldn't stand to sit still. She did it because she felt that it was the right thing to do for her family.

I guess I can't say that Grandma was always working in her home, because she also loved to shop. If she didn't have a reason to get a new outfit for herself of Grandpa, she would buy one for some other member of the family. Often times when there was a special occasion, she would want to take Mom and I shopping for a special outfit. It was part of the joy of preparing for and anticipating the event.

Of course, Grandma had her quirks and we all got annoyed at her, as she did at us, from time to time. Every Sunday morning at church during my high school years, she would ask me where my lipstick was if I wasn't wearing any (which I usually wasn't). When I went through my "grunge" clothing phase she was pretty horrified, especially when I dyed my hair dark red for a while. During this time, I had a particular cardigan sweater and a particular polyester shirt, both from a secondhand store, that she would constantly ask me to get rid of. When I was younger, and I guess the ironing had run out at our house, she tried cleaning my room a few times. That became a major conflict between us for a while, but we moved past it. As I got older, I began to understand more of what I considered her quirks, and to appreciate her strong points.

The funeral will be on Friday. I thank God that she was my grandma, and I thank Him that she believed in Him.

names...

So far, we have chosen two Biblical names for our sons, ones that also happen to be very popular right now. (We certainly didn't choose them because they were popular, we discovered that detail later.) So, what do we name the third son?

Here are some Biblical names for boys, in no particular order:
Noah
Abraham
Elijah
Isaiah
Jeremiah
Issac
Daniel
David
Joseph
Benjamin
Matthew
Andrew
James
Thomas
John
Peter
Thaddeus
Paul
Luke
Levi
Samuel
Timothy
Stephen

I suppose we don't have to choose another Biblical name, but it seemed to be fitting since that is what the other two boys have. I know we have 4-5 more months to choose, but now that we know the gender it seems somehow urgent... I guess it's part of my nesting instinct kicking in?

cared for well

I have been sorting through big plastic tubs of baby and little boy clothes today. I had forgotten how many adorable clothes we had for Jacob and Ethan. I feel so blessed that my two older boys both got to wear many of those clothes, and now even a third baby will benefit! I am especially grateful when I come across an outfit that was only worn one or two times by one of the boys. The amazing thing, as I was sorting through the clothes, was realizing anew that almost all were given to us by friends and family. I saw one inexpensive set of three newborn gowns that we bought for Jacob, and another inexpensive set of five 9-12 month size onesies* we bought. That is all the clothes that we bought for the whole first year! The same goes for most of our baby gear, almost all being given to us; although we did buy ourselves a few things after the babies were here, when we knew more about what we needed (or thought we needed).

It reminds me of the verse that says, "If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." 1 Timothy 5:8. When we had Jacob and Ethan, we didn't have any money saved to buy baby stuff, but our biological and spiritual families made sure we were taken care of, even better than we would have taken care of ourselves.

I'm soaking some of the clothes that came out of storage with yellow spots around the collars. I have heard of this phenomenon before; you put clothes away apparently clean, but old stains rise to the surface while they are in storage. They are probably milk stains. Any suggestions on how to get them out? I am just soaking with detergent and hot water now since I was out of oxi-clean.

*As a side note . . . when I was pregnant with Jacob, Heath thought that the word "onesies" was a made-up word that only my family used. (In case you thought the same, I'll clarify that it is the trademark name for Gerber Baby bodysuits.) This doesn't say anything about Heath, since most men who don't yet have children (and probably many who do) wouldn't know where the word came from. Rather, it says something about my family and our made up words. :-)

It's a . . . !

From Sonogram

Click on the picture above to see the online album, with 6 more pictures of the face and body of our baby boy. :-)

When we called to ask a question at the sonogram place this morning, they said the usual technician was not in today, that it was a substitute. We thought, "Oh no, someone inexperienced!" It turns out it was the opposite; she was very experienced, having been a high-risk pregnancy sonographer previously. She talked us through everything she was checking - 3 different parts of the brain, different parts of the heart including all 4 valves, kidneys, bladder, stomach, arms, legs, feet, fingers, spine, and finally, the private parts. :-) As you can see, our baby boy made it quite obvious what his gender is!

I am very excited to be able to prepare the clothes and room for our new one's arrival. The boys are excited that they will have a baby brother. Thank you, Lord, for this new life and new member of our family who we will soon get to meet face to face!

ultrasound Tuesday!

Today I went to the OB for my monthly appointment, and we scheduled our ultrasound for Tuesday at 10 a.m.! Yay, I can hardly wait! I hope the gender is easy to see. Just 4 more days to wait....