a better day

Today was quite a bit better than yesterday. For one thing, I had gotten a ton of sleep - went to bed around 7:00 pm and didn't get up until 7:00 am. I did wake up for around 30 minutes and have a snack around 11 pm, but other than that, I slept almost 12 hours. The day started out looking like it would be the usual, and I still felt a heaviness draped over me, but then I received two encouraging emails and an encouraging phone call from friends who had read my last few posts. I think after that the tone of my day was changed permanently. Even when I got some really bad news about a friend, I wasn't totally knocked down for the day. It made me very sad, but also reminded me that things could be much worse and that turning my attention and energy to other's needs can make mine feel a little less suffocating.


I'm sure it also helped that my Effexor was in my system properly today - I took both doses on time yesterday and continued to today. On Tuesday, I forgot my afternoon dose until late evening, and I didn't feel it at the time, but the lowered blood levels must have really hit me yesterday morning/afternoon, and I think it took me until today to get them normalized again. When I told Heath over the phone on Tuesday (in between his flights) that I'd forgotten my second dose until evening, he said in a really horrified voice, "Oh No." I blew him off, and was like, "What? It's fine, don't be so dramatic." etc. I think yesterday probably proves that it does affect me when I take a dose late. (Heath would say it's been proven before this -- thus his alarm.) That sucks, because I'm human, and I'm bound to forget sometimes, even though I have an alarm on my phone. Sometimes I turn off the alarm, thinking I'm on my way to take the pill but I get distracted and never make it there. I think it's actually the sudden-withdrawal side effects that make me grumpy and contribute to me having a bad day, not the lack of chemical uplifting action. The positive chemical effects wouldn't be gone that quickly, I don't think, but the nasty sudden-withdrawal effects kick in really quickly.

The final thing I did that might have helped was trying some of my neighbor's advice for how he handles the boys when they're at his house -- what his rules and consequences are. I figured they would at least be familiar to my boys. I think my boys are probably a little ticked that he shared what he expects of them and is able to get them to do over there.

At any rate, it was a big relief to have a much better day. It actually makes me hopeful for tomorrow (and the next day and next , etc.) -- not that they will be fantastic and I'll just love, love, love! everything about my life again, but that I'll be able to survive the days relatively contented and at peace.