ridiculous

I try to avoid as much as possible calling customer support at any of the mega-corporations which provide various services to me. Today, I was reminded why. Thinking chat support might be easier since my children were playing near me and would make carrying on a conversation difficult, I tried that first:

Oliana Wade: Hi Jennifer!
Jennifer: Hello.
Oliana Wade: I understand you need assistance with your connection setup, is that correct?
Jennifer: No, not with the connection actually. Just with setting up the account access online. To view my bill, make payments, etc.
Oliana Wade: I understand your question and I'm glad to assist you with your inquiry.
Jennifer: It asks for my ATT phone number, but I have DSL without a phone
Oliana Wade: Please access this site.
The agent is sending you to http://att.com.
Jennifer: when I enter the account number I have, it says it's not recognized or something like that.
Jennifer: ok, I am at that site.
Oliana Wade: You need to register first before they allow you to access your bill online.
Jennifer: Right. But it wouldn't let me register either.
Jennifer: I go to the register link, and it wants me to enter my phone number.
Jennifer: When I enter the account number I have, it says it isn't recognized or something to that effect.
Oliana Wade: Are you on that site?
The agent is sending you to http://att.com.
Jennifer: Yes, I am on that site.
Oliana Wade: Your account number is on your bill.
Jennifer: Right.
Oliana Wade: Can you check on that please?
Jennifer: It is XXXXXXXXXXXX
Oliana Wade: And that is what you are trying to enter?
Jennifer: Yes.
Oliana Wade: I was able to pull up your account using the number, XXXXXXXXXX.
Oliana Wade: May I ask you to wait while I access the information?
Jennifer: You mean you were able to pull it up online, or in your system?
Jennifer: that's fine.
Oliana Wade: Thank you so much for waiting.
Oliana Wade: As soon as you pull up the site, http://att.com
Oliana Wade: Please click on Log In, located at the upper right hand corner of the page.
Jennifer: Yes, that's what I did.
Oliana Wade: Then look for "High Speed Internet and Phone" section, click on Pay Bill.
Oliana Wade: It will now ask you to enter your zipcode.
Jennifer: yes
Oliana Wade: Okay, after that what happened?
Jennifer: It takes me to a screen that says enter your user ID and enter your password. There is a link at the bottom that says I don't have an online account. When I click on that, it takes me to a page where I am supposed to enter my phone number.
Jennifer: And this is where I was when I contacted you. It won't let me use my account number as the phone number.
Oliana Wade: Oh I see.
Oliana Wade: I am really sorry if I cannot provide you with the information that you need. As much as I wanted to help you, only our Billing Department can assist you regarding this matter. The telephone number to call is 1-877-722-3755, and the IVR is voice activated. Please say "Billing", and the IVR will transfer you to Billing. Billing Operating Hours: Mon-Fri (7:00 am-9:00 pm) and Saturday (8:00 am-5:00 pm).
Jennifer: ok, thanks

Wow, could she have paid any less attention to my actual first question?

So, I tried calling the number she gave me. Which was a voice system. Which I hate.

"So I can direct your call, first I need ---" (kids talking in the background) "What was that? I didn't understand. So I can direct your call, first I need you to enter --" (kids talking in the background) "What was that? I didn't understand. Let's try this another way. Push 1 on your --" (one of the kids coughs) "What was that? I didn't understand. So I can direct your call, first I need ---" (kids talking in the background) "What was that? I didn't understand...." And on and on until I finally got my billing number entered and quickly progressed through to the billing department without any more noises from my children. "If you have a question about your most recent bill, say billing question. If you want to hear about current promotions, say promotions." Well, neither, I think. But alas, she would give me no other options no matter what I tried. So I am on hold for a "billing question" person, who I suspect will direct me to yet another person or voice system who will still not be able to help me.

Wow, how efficient these new systems are! Ok, they probably are efficient for 95% of the questions or problems that come in, but for the other 5% of us who have an irregular question, it is really, really annoying.


Update: After waiting on hold for 10-15 minutes, they disconnected me!