Sunday, February 24, 2008
date night update
I did manage to leave the house and have a very nice time on our date, despite my obsessive tendencies. I did not get everything I could have finished, but alas, none of the unusual scenarios I imagined happened. I know logically that I don't need to do that much preparation, but for some reason on the day we are scheduled to have a babysitter, I get sucked into a whirlwind of tension fueled by obsession and self-deprecation.
Friday, February 22, 2008
date night!
Tonight, Heath and I get to go on a date, by ourselves. This does not happen often since we moved away from family. Not only that, but we get to go to U23D, which we have been looking forward to ever since we heard about it. Ever since I bought the tickets yesterday morning and scheduled a babysitter, I have been really excited. That is, until this morning, when the reality of getting things ready for a babysitter hit me full force.
Here is the problem with getting ready for a babysitter to come over to our house. You don't have to just prepare for what you expect to happen - i.e., something ready or available for dinner, a bottle for the baby in the fridge, books and PJs ready for bedtimes, and phone numbers written down. You have to prepare for all the things that could possibly happen that the babysitter could possibly have to deal with. What if one of the kids wets their beds before we get home? Are there clean sheets and blankets washed, and are they somewhere they can readily be found? Are there extra sets of PJs and clothes available in case they are needed? If she pulls open their dresser drawers will she find these clothes readily, or will she find a jumbled mess of unmatched socks, underwear, a few odd pieces of clothing and spare toy parts thrown in for good measure? If the kids ask for chocolate milk, will she open the fridge and see a sippy cup half-full of chocolate milk and think it is from earlier today, when it was actually abandoned there a week or two ago? If the kids ask for a snack before bed, will she find crackers and granola bars in the cabinet, or just a few cans of beans and a bag of flour?
So rather than tidying up and getting a few things prepared, I start feeling like I have to clean and organize EVERYTHING. I need to clean out the fridge so the spoiled milk incident doesn't happen. I need to go to the store to stock the kitchen appropriately. I need to do all the laundry and organize the dresser drawers and linen closet so everything can be found. I need to check in every drawer and behind every door that might need to be opened for any reason, and make sure whatever is in there is accessible and not surrounded by anything embarrassing. And about the time I realize this - usually around 10 am on the day we have scheduled a babysitter for the evening - is the time I start having a panic attack in anticipation of the panic I will feel later that afternoon when I only have 3 hours, or 2 hours, or finally 1 hour to get it all finished. It doesn't matter that I tell myself it is ridiculous to panic now, that I still have many hours and that even my long list of tasks shouldn't take that long. I think of all the things that could get in the way of me getting these things completed, and I think of the embarrassment or helplessness or disorientation I feel when I don't get them complete, and my heart starts racing and my lung capacity gets cut in half and the problem-solving, task-oriented part of my brain shuts down. Nice.
Sometimes these days end with an emotional rant at Heath about how I always get stuck with this responsibility, and how unfair it all is. I don't really feel this way, but the pain of anxiety begs to be unleashed and targeted somewhere other than at my own fragile sense self-worth. Heath has learned that he can usually avoid this rant being directed at him if he does one or two things to help the night before, particularly any household task I find particularly daunting. He didn't do that last night, but hopefully I'll still manage to regain an excited and relaxed attitude before show time tonight. I have already snapped at the kids several times this morning, which doesn't make me feel any better, actually.
Hate... the... feeling... of... tension...
Here is the problem with getting ready for a babysitter to come over to our house. You don't have to just prepare for what you expect to happen - i.e., something ready or available for dinner, a bottle for the baby in the fridge, books and PJs ready for bedtimes, and phone numbers written down. You have to prepare for all the things that could possibly happen that the babysitter could possibly have to deal with. What if one of the kids wets their beds before we get home? Are there clean sheets and blankets washed, and are they somewhere they can readily be found? Are there extra sets of PJs and clothes available in case they are needed? If she pulls open their dresser drawers will she find these clothes readily, or will she find a jumbled mess of unmatched socks, underwear, a few odd pieces of clothing and spare toy parts thrown in for good measure? If the kids ask for chocolate milk, will she open the fridge and see a sippy cup half-full of chocolate milk and think it is from earlier today, when it was actually abandoned there a week or two ago? If the kids ask for a snack before bed, will she find crackers and granola bars in the cabinet, or just a few cans of beans and a bag of flour?
So rather than tidying up and getting a few things prepared, I start feeling like I have to clean and organize EVERYTHING. I need to clean out the fridge so the spoiled milk incident doesn't happen. I need to go to the store to stock the kitchen appropriately. I need to do all the laundry and organize the dresser drawers and linen closet so everything can be found. I need to check in every drawer and behind every door that might need to be opened for any reason, and make sure whatever is in there is accessible and not surrounded by anything embarrassing. And about the time I realize this - usually around 10 am on the day we have scheduled a babysitter for the evening - is the time I start having a panic attack in anticipation of the panic I will feel later that afternoon when I only have 3 hours, or 2 hours, or finally 1 hour to get it all finished. It doesn't matter that I tell myself it is ridiculous to panic now, that I still have many hours and that even my long list of tasks shouldn't take that long. I think of all the things that could get in the way of me getting these things completed, and I think of the embarrassment or helplessness or disorientation I feel when I don't get them complete, and my heart starts racing and my lung capacity gets cut in half and the problem-solving, task-oriented part of my brain shuts down. Nice.
Sometimes these days end with an emotional rant at Heath about how I always get stuck with this responsibility, and how unfair it all is. I don't really feel this way, but the pain of anxiety begs to be unleashed and targeted somewhere other than at my own fragile sense self-worth. Heath has learned that he can usually avoid this rant being directed at him if he does one or two things to help the night before, particularly any household task I find particularly daunting. He didn't do that last night, but hopefully I'll still manage to regain an excited and relaxed attitude before show time tonight. I have already snapped at the kids several times this morning, which doesn't make me feel any better, actually.
Hate... the... feeling... of... tension...
Friday, February 15, 2008
My Big Wooser
I know, three posts in one day is really not the best way to do it. But I had to point you to Auntie G's blog and her post about Jez Luckett, or "My Big Wooser," as Ethan likes to call him. (As in, "Mommy, I wanna watch my big wooser!" and "Mommy, where my big wooser?" when trying to spot Jez on the show. :-) Heath has known Jez for a long time, and it is amazing to see the transformation his body has undergone since being on The Biggest Loser.
Here are some funny things from this week.
On a sunny afternoon, I tried to vacuum up some leaves in the yard that were left in a pile from the fall, so I could consolidate them and put them on the mulch pile. After trying for a little while, I said, "Well, it's not going to work today; they are still too wet." Ethan had been closely watching me work, and he said, "Yeah. Cause I peed on them!"
After working and playing outside that day, we tracked in some mud, which I've been picking up off the floor for the rest of the week. I finally did a comprehensive sweep of the downstairs floor after the following event. I heard Samuel whimpering for help, and I looked over to discover he had pulled up on the walker, which was slowly rolling away from him. He looked up at me beseechingly, with a circle of dark mud around his mouth. When I scooped him up to rescue him and clean him off, I discovered he was still hoarding pieces of mud he had found off the floor in his cheeks.
Just last night, Jacob and Ethan asked us to "time" them while they raced up and down the hall from the living room. We told them we were talking at the moment, but that they could count for themselves. Jacob said, "But I don't know how long a second is!" I said, "Oh, here's a trick Grandma Bonnie taught me. Say one-thousand-and-one, one-thousand-and-two..." Heath interrupted me, laughing, and said, "No, that's way too slow!" And demonstrated the right speed (or so he says!) to count for seconds. Then his face lit up, and he said, "That's it! That's why your internal clock is off! We can trace it all back to your Mom teaching you to count seconds too slowly." (Because I am late everywhere and continually underestimate how long tasks or events will take.) I was not amused. But maybe you will be, therefore I share it with you.
On a sunny afternoon, I tried to vacuum up some leaves in the yard that were left in a pile from the fall, so I could consolidate them and put them on the mulch pile. After trying for a little while, I said, "Well, it's not going to work today; they are still too wet." Ethan had been closely watching me work, and he said, "Yeah. Cause I peed on them!"
After working and playing outside that day, we tracked in some mud, which I've been picking up off the floor for the rest of the week. I finally did a comprehensive sweep of the downstairs floor after the following event. I heard Samuel whimpering for help, and I looked over to discover he had pulled up on the walker, which was slowly rolling away from him. He looked up at me beseechingly, with a circle of dark mud around his mouth. When I scooped him up to rescue him and clean him off, I discovered he was still hoarding pieces of mud he had found off the floor in his cheeks.
Just last night, Jacob and Ethan asked us to "time" them while they raced up and down the hall from the living room. We told them we were talking at the moment, but that they could count for themselves. Jacob said, "But I don't know how long a second is!" I said, "Oh, here's a trick Grandma Bonnie taught me. Say one-thousand-and-one, one-thousand-and-two..." Heath interrupted me, laughing, and said, "No, that's way too slow!" And demonstrated the right speed (or so he says!) to count for seconds. Then his face lit up, and he said, "That's it! That's why your internal clock is off! We can trace it all back to your Mom teaching you to count seconds too slowly." (Because I am late everywhere and continually underestimate how long tasks or events will take.) I was not amused. But maybe you will be, therefore I share it with you.
ridiculous
I try to avoid as much as possible calling customer support at any of the mega-corporations which provide various services to me. Today, I was reminded why. Thinking chat support might be easier since my children were playing near me and would make carrying on a conversation difficult, I tried that first:
Oliana Wade: Hi Jennifer!
Jennifer: Hello.
Oliana Wade: I understand you need assistance with your connection setup, is that correct?
Jennifer: No, not with the connection actually. Just with setting up the account access online. To view my bill, make payments, etc.
Oliana Wade: I understand your question and I'm glad to assist you with your inquiry.
Jennifer: It asks for my ATT phone number, but I have DSL without a phone
Oliana Wade: Please access this site.
The agent is sending you to http://att.com.
Jennifer: when I enter the account number I have, it says it's not recognized or something like that.
Jennifer: ok, I am at that site.
Oliana Wade: You need to register first before they allow you to access your bill online.
Jennifer: Right. But it wouldn't let me register either.
Jennifer: I go to the register link, and it wants me to enter my phone number.
Jennifer: When I enter the account number I have, it says it isn't recognized or something to that effect.
Oliana Wade: Are you on that site?
The agent is sending you to http://att.com.
Jennifer: Yes, I am on that site.
Oliana Wade: Your account number is on your bill.
Jennifer: Right.
Oliana Wade: Can you check on that please?
Jennifer: It is XXXXXXXXXXXX
Oliana Wade: And that is what you are trying to enter?
Jennifer: Yes.
Oliana Wade: I was able to pull up your account using the number, XXXXXXXXXX.
Oliana Wade: May I ask you to wait while I access the information?
Jennifer: You mean you were able to pull it up online, or in your system?
Jennifer: that's fine.
Oliana Wade: Thank you so much for waiting.
Oliana Wade: As soon as you pull up the site, http://att.com
Oliana Wade: Please click on Log In, located at the upper right hand corner of the page.
Jennifer: Yes, that's what I did.
Oliana Wade: Then look for "High Speed Internet and Phone" section, click on Pay Bill.
Oliana Wade: It will now ask you to enter your zipcode.
Jennifer: yes
Oliana Wade: Okay, after that what happened?
Jennifer: It takes me to a screen that says enter your user ID and enter your password. There is a link at the bottom that says I don't have an online account. When I click on that, it takes me to a page where I am supposed to enter my phone number.
Jennifer: And this is where I was when I contacted you. It won't let me use my account number as the phone number.
Oliana Wade: Oh I see.
Oliana Wade: I am really sorry if I cannot provide you with the information that you need. As much as I wanted to help you, only our Billing Department can assist you regarding this matter. The telephone number to call is 1-877-722-3755, and the IVR is voice activated. Please say "Billing", and the IVR will transfer you to Billing. Billing Operating Hours: Mon-Fri (7:00 am-9:00 pm) and Saturday (8:00 am-5:00 pm).
Jennifer: ok, thanks
Wow, could she have paid any less attention to my actual first question?
So, I tried calling the number she gave me. Which was a voice system. Which I hate.
"So I can direct your call, first I need ---" (kids talking in the background) "What was that? I didn't understand. So I can direct your call, first I need you to enter --" (kids talking in the background) "What was that? I didn't understand. Let's try this another way. Push 1 on your --" (one of the kids coughs) "What was that? I didn't understand. So I can direct your call, first I need ---" (kids talking in the background) "What was that? I didn't understand...." And on and on until I finally got my billing number entered and quickly progressed through to the billing department without any more noises from my children. "If you have a question about your most recent bill, say billing question. If you want to hear about current promotions, say promotions." Well, neither, I think. But alas, she would give me no other options no matter what I tried. So I am on hold for a "billing question" person, who I suspect will direct me to yet another person or voice system who will still not be able to help me.
Wow, how efficient these new systems are! Ok, they probably are efficient for 95% of the questions or problems that come in, but for the other 5% of us who have an irregular question, it is really, really annoying.
Update: After waiting on hold for 10-15 minutes, they disconnected me!
Oliana Wade: Hi Jennifer!
Jennifer: Hello.
Oliana Wade: I understand you need assistance with your connection setup, is that correct?
Jennifer: No, not with the connection actually. Just with setting up the account access online. To view my bill, make payments, etc.
Oliana Wade: I understand your question and I'm glad to assist you with your inquiry.
Jennifer: It asks for my ATT phone number, but I have DSL without a phone
Oliana Wade: Please access this site.
The agent is sending you to http://att.com.
Jennifer: when I enter the account number I have, it says it's not recognized or something like that.
Jennifer: ok, I am at that site.
Oliana Wade: You need to register first before they allow you to access your bill online.
Jennifer: Right. But it wouldn't let me register either.
Jennifer: I go to the register link, and it wants me to enter my phone number.
Jennifer: When I enter the account number I have, it says it isn't recognized or something to that effect.
Oliana Wade: Are you on that site?
The agent is sending you to http://att.com.
Jennifer: Yes, I am on that site.
Oliana Wade: Your account number is on your bill.
Jennifer: Right.
Oliana Wade: Can you check on that please?
Jennifer: It is XXXXXXXXXXXX
Oliana Wade: And that is what you are trying to enter?
Jennifer: Yes.
Oliana Wade: I was able to pull up your account using the number, XXXXXXXXXX.
Oliana Wade: May I ask you to wait while I access the information?
Jennifer: You mean you were able to pull it up online, or in your system?
Jennifer: that's fine.
Oliana Wade: Thank you so much for waiting.
Oliana Wade: As soon as you pull up the site, http://att.com
Oliana Wade: Please click on Log In, located at the upper right hand corner of the page.
Jennifer: Yes, that's what I did.
Oliana Wade: Then look for "High Speed Internet and Phone" section, click on Pay Bill.
Oliana Wade: It will now ask you to enter your zipcode.
Jennifer: yes
Oliana Wade: Okay, after that what happened?
Jennifer: It takes me to a screen that says enter your user ID and enter your password. There is a link at the bottom that says I don't have an online account. When I click on that, it takes me to a page where I am supposed to enter my phone number.
Jennifer: And this is where I was when I contacted you. It won't let me use my account number as the phone number.
Oliana Wade: Oh I see.
Oliana Wade: I am really sorry if I cannot provide you with the information that you need. As much as I wanted to help you, only our Billing Department can assist you regarding this matter. The telephone number to call is 1-877-722-3755, and the IVR is voice activated. Please say "Billing", and the IVR will transfer you to Billing. Billing Operating Hours: Mon-Fri (7:00 am-9:00 pm) and Saturday (8:00 am-5:00 pm).
Jennifer: ok, thanks
Wow, could she have paid any less attention to my actual first question?
So, I tried calling the number she gave me. Which was a voice system. Which I hate.
"So I can direct your call, first I need ---" (kids talking in the background) "What was that? I didn't understand. So I can direct your call, first I need you to enter --" (kids talking in the background) "What was that? I didn't understand. Let's try this another way. Push 1 on your --" (one of the kids coughs) "What was that? I didn't understand. So I can direct your call, first I need ---" (kids talking in the background) "What was that? I didn't understand...." And on and on until I finally got my billing number entered and quickly progressed through to the billing department without any more noises from my children. "If you have a question about your most recent bill, say billing question. If you want to hear about current promotions, say promotions." Well, neither, I think. But alas, she would give me no other options no matter what I tried. So I am on hold for a "billing question" person, who I suspect will direct me to yet another person or voice system who will still not be able to help me.
Wow, how efficient these new systems are! Ok, they probably are efficient for 95% of the questions or problems that come in, but for the other 5% of us who have an irregular question, it is really, really annoying.
Update: After waiting on hold for 10-15 minutes, they disconnected me!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
I've been meaning to post pictures of Samuel crawling and pulling up. He still reverts to the army crawl sometimes, but we see him crawl on his knees as well. Here is a picture of him after his nap last Tuesday. I heard him talking in his room, so I went in to get him. I found him like this. He's been trying to pull up on everything for about a week now and is delighted when he succeeds.
He has also learned how to open cabinets, and his first tooth started coming in last Thursday. He is a lot of fun.
The kids and I went to GC last Thursday so Heath could have a "Guys' Weekend" here. We celebrated Ethan's birthday there with family. Here's a video of him blowing out his candles.
He has also learned how to open cabinets, and his first tooth started coming in last Thursday. He is a lot of fun.
The kids and I went to GC last Thursday so Heath could have a "Guys' Weekend" here. We celebrated Ethan's birthday there with family. Here's a video of him blowing out his candles.
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