Is there any stay-at-home Mom who has not at least once, if not many times, thought, "I don't want this job anymore!"?
Really, I just wanted to start the day with a shower. I didn't get to shower yesterday morning either. I'd love to get up before my kids to exercise, shower, read and pray, but I've been so exhausted lately that I am squeezing in every spare second of sleep I can get. I know we are supposed to get 8 hours a night, but I don't understand why 7 or 7.5 won't at least get me by. It seems grossly unfair. I've been consuming enough caffeine every day to make me jittery, but still not quite awake - however that works. I would just go to bed at the same time as the kids, but I get a second wind around 8 pm, probably triggered by the excitement of having the kids in bed, a quiet house, and time alone with Heath. Or maybe all the caffeine builds up and finally kicks in at that hour.
Another troubling thing this week... Samuel has recently stopped adoring me. It is strange and unnerving. All he wants is Daddy. He is the first of our three children to have actually said "Mama" around the same time as "Dada," and he has been very attached to me almost from day one. But now, he has not said Mama for at least two weeks, and whenever I try to get him to say it, he says, forcefully, "Da-da!" I am apparently a piece of furniture in the backdrop of his world - Daddy is the real joy maker.
I hesitate to post thoughts like these, because I don't want to complain. I know my position in life is really good overall, and I don't want to seem unappreciative of that. But there are some really hard things, too, just like there are for everyone I guess. I have sometimes thought I should just kill my blog because it is mostly a venue for either 1) complaining about my position in life or 2) writing about topics that I am pondering, most of which I now deem too controversial to put out there for fear that I will say something that I later deem heretical and/or cause bad feelings or confusion among those I love. I suppose blogging also provides an opportunity to post pictures, developmental updates, and funny stories about the kids for those who don't see them very often... so that is something.
One other thing I have been wrestling with lately is reworking our grocery/household items budget. Our bank offered a new tool to track our spending across categories, and after 6 months we can see what we have spent, consistently, on groceries each month. About 50% over our budgeted amount, but consistent from month to month. So apparently we were quite out of touch with what we actually spend in that category. (I love the "mortgage" category - right on budget, 6 months in a row!) I don't WANT to spend as much as we do - I want to spend the actual budgeted amount. But I also want to continue to enjoy the small luxuries we have been indulging in. So I am wrestling with, just how much is REASONABLE to spend for a family of 5 on grocery and household items? We lump together our food, paper products, toiletries, cleaning products, etc. all in one category. It is basically any of the usual, weekly things we buy at Dillons/Walmart/Target. How much do you spend? If you're willing to share, it really might help me out! I know ours is a bit higher right now because of diapers and formula, but that doesn't account for all the excess.
Well, it is Samuel's naptime, Thank God. Maybe I'll go take that long, warm shower I've been craving. If you see me later today with greasy hair, you'll know something else came up. :-)
We spend about $200 at Walmart. When I was working outside the house I found it really helpful to plan a menu for the entire week and stick to it as much as possible. I would build in take out once every couple of weeks and an evening out as a family at least once every other week also. That way I was only buying what we were going to consume (along with the usual backup of chicken strips and fries, and frozen pizzas for busy evenings I didn't anticipate) I would also buy bulk if possible and it would carry over. Now Lowell does most of the cooking and acutally enjoys it so I don't worry about it. He still makes a menu and shops from it. This works pretty well for us. I was comparing receipts from last year when I was doing the taxes and did notice a big increase in food costs. No real surprise with fuel prices what they are.
ReplyDeleteAs for the shower I remember those days, I am very thankful my kids are 19,13, and 10 I get to shower whenever I want, if Sean leaves any hot water for the rest of us!
Hmm, that's a good point. I really should start planning my shopping list more carefully, with a menu in mind. I do imagine making fewer trips would help keep costs down.
ReplyDeleteAh, I'm looking forward to the day when I can shower at any time of the day without little visitors!
At the moment, having Anna prefer Daddy sounds like a REALLY nice break. This Mama kick has been going on a long time. Just now she refused a waffle unless I could bring it to her. After Daddy fixed it up all nice and everything. He set it on the table in front of her and then I came in and set it on her tray. Ridiculous. Now she's calling to me from her high chair. Matthew asks if he can help her, and she says "No, I want my Mommy." So I'm making her wait.
ReplyDeleteI also make up a menu and shop a week at a time. I think it makes mealtimes much less stressful if I know what I'm making, and I think we eat more healthy food too.
I'm not sure I can give you an exact number on how much we spend a week but I will tell you I do a menu for two weeks at a time and shop all at once. I do have to go back for milk about 3/4 of the way through our two weeks and sometimes for odds and ends I forgot, but the bulk is bought for two weeks. I've been able to maintain a pretty consistent amount that we spend by doing it that way.
ReplyDeleteWe also bought a quarter of beef a while ago and it's amazing how much it can save you in the long run to do it that way. We're looking into getting another quarter of beef or a half a pig.
About the shower, I feel you sister. Sometimes I long for the opportunity to leave my house and children for a whole day and work with adults and make some money. Then I realize I would be miserable with that. It sounds like you need to spend a day away from kids and go to a spa for a massage and a pedicure. Maybe Heath can get you that for Mother's day?
Hang in there.
Jenny, I can relate to your frustration. I do enjoy reading your blog and hope that you keep it up, but maybe it would be one less thing for you to do.
ReplyDeleteI think we spend about $150/week on average on household stuff and groceries. I am doing a trial for an online grocery saving deal called The Grocery Game, and haven't decided yet if I'm going to join. Basically, it's a list that tells you what the best deals of the week are at Dillons. Then you combine the sale prices with coupons from the Sunday paper. Their philosophy is that if you buy things when they are at their lowest prices and stock up, you will save money in the long run. My only problem is that we buy a lot of fresh stuff that you can't really stock up on. But I have saved about 25% on my grocery bill the last two weeks. And I am doing a bit better at planning meals based on what is on sale that week.
Talk soon.
i wonder if some of us WM girls couldn't give each other more tips on things like this. i've been reworking our budget too; actually googling "budget gourmet".
ReplyDeletecorn oil is freaking $7 a bottle now!
i have some good recipe ideas. let's talk more tomorrow night. i'll bring some recipes if you are interested.